Oh Snap
by Sixelle of Fireyness
Summary: A little rough love can go a long way.


**Title:** Oh Snap (Or, Gee-Werlecurs, Porky, what did you get yourself into?)

**World:** Alternate Universe Mother/ Earthbound Zero and Earthbound/Mother 2

**Prompt:** Tough Ness.

**Notes:** Usually I see Ness as a mild mannered kid but I was reading one of my books in my miniature library, and this image of a tough-as-nails and eccentric Ness came up. Mix it up with my love for Porky/Ness and this idea was born. To make matters worse, I listened to '_**Nape of the Neck**_' by Machigerita while writing this. This is assertive fluff, y'all. Plus I wanted to feature another of my favorite yet weird pair-ups, so I took advantage of that to add it in. This is madness, '_**300**_' pun not intended.

**Disclaimer:** To own Earthbound/Mother would be a great honor. I don't, though.

'

''''

'''''''

''''

'

"Do you like me?"

"Huh?"

"It's a simple question."

"Well, I don't think I heard you right."

A hand then roughly slammed against the wall, effectively trapping Porky against it and the smaller body of his best friend. For some reason, the situation along with the look on the other boy's face made him blush fiercely.

"What are you doing, Ness?" He stuttered, his mouth left open in an O.

Instead of a response, the boy smirked. "You're so cute with you open your mouth like that."

"Ness!"

"Keep saying my name. I like it."

"All right! Something is clearly wrong with you!" Porky slipped away from the one side Ness left unguarded, putting some much needed distance between the two. "What the hell's gotten into you?"

He pouted. "Why do you have to be so mean to me? I miss you is all."

"Then why are you acting so weird?"

"Why are _you_ acting weird? You didn't even bother saying hi to me when you clearly saw me."

"That's… nothing. Some punk just pissed me off during the weekend."

"…Fudgewittage."

"What?"

Ness met his confused look with narrow eyes. "I saw you. I saw everything. The girl who you were talking with the other day, who was she?"

The look of relief on Porky's face soon morphed back into a blasé look. "Why should I answer that? You've been dodging my questions from the get-go."

"We can continue to dance around each other with words, or you can actually answer me before I turn mean."

"Seriously, dude, what the hell? Did the trip to Twoson screw you over or what?"

"No, it just made me realize I can't leave you alone for too long. Might end up walking away with a girl in your arms."

"Oh, you're talking about Pippi." At least he managed to piece that little mystery together, though the sudden return of Ness's glare took away whatever victorious glee he salvaged from the discovery.

"You know her name?"

"Duh. She lived right next to us, remember?" Porky resisted the urge to roll his eyes when Ness scrunched up his nose. He recognized it as his I-could-care-less look. "I know it's been a while, but it wasn't that long time ago."

"The girl with the long stockings and pigtails right? The one who used to follow you around?"

A heavy blush painted Porky's face. "Yes, Ness, that same girl."

"She doesn't look the same."

"Well, duh, eight years can do a lot to a girl."

Both boys turned around to see the person in question walk in with all her girly glory. Ness resisted the urge to gag at the sight. He did remember her; ponytails adorn her hair just like before. A simple white and pink dress she wore, its length reaching past her knees flowing lightly against her figure. Certainly, she had grown.

But unfortunately Porky's attention was all over her, an irritating fact considering how hard it normally is to get said boy's interest.

"Is this boy being mean to you, Porky?" The girl kindly inquired Porky.

"What? No, Ness is never mean to me."

"Hmm, it doesn't look that way." Pippi turned slightly, staring hard at the brunet. He willingly returned the glare. "Listen, Porky, you don't have to put up with that meanie, okay? I'm here to help you, all right?"

"Porky is just fine." Ness placed himself between his friend and the terror in leggings. He held on to Porky's arm for good measure, ignoring the way the boy flinched and gasped. "He's got me to help him."

A hand lifted to her hip, and Pippi proceeded to study the scene before her. Ness tightens his grip on Porky.

"You seem awfully clingy of him for someone who's so mean to him."

"Why do you keep saying that? I like Porky!"

Silence enveloped the room after the proclamation. But Ness didn't back off, instead cuddling closer to the blond, whose face turned from ribbon pink to apple red.

All signs pointed towards Pippi taking drastic measures.

She grabbed Porky's other arm and managed to catch both boys off guard when she tugged Porky out of Ness's grip.

"I don't think so, Fluffy." She sneered, pressing up against the Minch. "I like him, so you need to back off if you know what's good for you." She emphasized the threat with her tongue, stuck out childishly.

Oh, hell no. Ness was not about to take this crap.

It's too bad he makes it a rule not to hit girls. This nuisance lucked out there; otherwise he would have smacked her across the room. He'll have to deal with her like a proper _gentleman_.

He caught Porky's other arm, pulling his arm towards him. "He's mine."

The chubby boy cried out as he was pulled between to unyielding forces.

"No, he's mine."

"Mine."

"You need to get checked."

"Says the girl with the awful pigtails."

"What about you, Momma's boy?"

"Shut up!"

"Back off then."

"You back off!"

"Not from what's mine."

"He's mine!"

"Mine!"


End file.
